With Special Findings of Facts
It is suggested that R. C. Roper would make a first-class sewing
machine agent. His grandpa physiognomy would amuse the chil
dren and disarm the mothers of suspicions, otherwise well grounded.
E. C. Smith ought to run some soda fountain or make divorce
his specialty. That warm, sunny smile of his would melt the solder
on the tiniest pericardium. And that prolyx discourse would sell
more "nut sundies" than a phonograph or perplex into consolation
more feminine brains than a study of Christian Science. Few men
can tell more made-to-order stories or serve them with a smoother
"hot tamally" grace than "Easy."
Our unassuming, unoffending Roth has evidently missed his call
ing. Designed for a crack sleeper for some modern hypnotist, he
expects soon to put his wonderful qualities in use sleeping during
the long intervals between the calls of his Rip Van Winkle clients.
Roth is without an enemy, as he is always good when asleep, and
thus he is rarely bad. When some rude noise disturbs his sleep in
class he painfully cocks one eye ; then his soul gets up within, draws
its night shirt about it, and looks out to see who knocked. Sleep
on, kind friend, may ministering angels guard thee from alarm
It is a shame Mr. Wilhite left the show business to study law.
He is a model in form--tall, graceful, and dignified. His town
will now have to seek some other gallant prince to lead the styles.
It is a sight long to be remembered to see Mr. Wilheit rise majesti
cally in class and recite. With light tuxedo coat, low cut vest,
beautiful red and blue striped shirt, and bright blue tie, low Oxford
shoes set off with rich blue and red plaid hose, and large, full trousers
always creased and tasty, his dress is free from criticism. But
this is not the man. The true man appears in that deep, broad
smile interspersed with freckles and fringed with auburn hair,
which smile adorns his face and lights the room just as a recitation
in haec verba is commenced or finished.
Senner, the inimitable, was born evidently during times of con
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